2017 Christmas Gift Guide for Her!

If there’s one thing that drives my anxiety away it’s the excitement of Christmas.

I. Love. Christmas!

To me, it’s the best time of year. As an Australian it means we welcome summer and beach season, the joy of giving to your loved ones and of course… receiving presents! Anyone who says they don’t like Christmas and receiving presents is in my opinion is crazy! But some people do dread actual gift shopping, so I’ve compiled a few look books down below as a bit of  holiday gift guide.

Enjoy x

Screenshot-2017-12-5 Beauty Font dafont com



And finally…




Choosing the Medication Route 

I love my meds. There I said it. No I’m not an addict or anything, half a Lexapro of a morning barely constitutes as a problem but I’ve decided I’ll never be without them again. I don’t know about anyone else but when I first got diagnosed with GAD (Generalised Anxiety Disorder) and OCD I approached my journey with the idea that I would take some meds just for a few months to take the edge off my symptoms and then once I see a psychologist slowly wean off the medication. 

Easier said than done. Maybe I’m lazy or my head is really broken but I feel like psych’s just don’t work for me? I’ve accepted the fact that I’ll probably be on Lexapro forever and that doesn’t make me a bad person or a failure, just that what works for one person (seeing a psych) may not work for another.  

I’ve seen my fair share of psychs, about 5 short term and one lady whom I really liked and stuck with for a while, but I find it difficult to focus on what they’re telling me or believing that their CBT method is going to magically heal me.  

Probably just lazy!

 But it’s weird, you open up and tell this person everything about yourself and your upbringing and all the events in your life that may have caused your mental illness and get nothing in return. They don’t tell you if they have a spouse or a dog or what they like to do on the weekends, and they act so interested in what you’re saying and speak to you like you might break at any moment. I feel like it’s in genuine, no one could possibly be interested in my obsession with checking the expiration date on every bit of food I ate when I was 9 years old and FYI I’m not going to crumble if you tell me I’m a little crazy, I already knew that 3 psych’s ago! 😂 

Some people are judgy with meds, well let’s be honest people are judgy in general but especially when it comes to their medical opinions but I say fuck them, do what works best for you ✌🏼

What if I’m actually crazy? 

What I classify as my ‘biggest fear’ changes pretty frequently; nuclear war, terminal illness etc but every so often I go back to a few of my personal favourites (note: not something that I actual favor) today it’s just plain and simple going crazy. 

Everyone has a little crazy in them right? But I’m talking stark raving mad, ending up in an institution not knowing who I am anymore crazy. 

Today for example I had too much sugar/caffeine so now I’m all jittery, I have no reason to be anxious but the very feeling of being anxious as a result of the poor food choices makes me more anxious. So I start out feeling jittery then I start feeling anxious and wondering why I’m feeling this way. I know why, but you know logic doesn’t apply to mental illness. So anyway,  I start wondering ‘this isn’t normal,’ ‘why can’t I just ignore this feeling?’ And ‘a normal person would just ignore this and move on, so what if I I’m actually on the verge of losing the plot?’ Things start to snowball from there. Is this me going crazy right now? Do crazy people know they’re crazy? I know I’m probably not and that I just spend too much time alone with my thoughts allowing them to wander. I need to start running or some shit to clear that over imaginative space in my head.

And now I’m in a bad mood, cranky at myself for even entertaining these ideas when there are millions of people all around the world like me who get carried away with the silly thoughts in their head sometimes. 

Hot tip for young players: caffeine and high amounts of sugar is the devil for anxiety. Well for me personally, it fucks me up. Sorry Mum if you read this I know you hate me swearing but sometimes there’s no other way to describe anxiety and the effects it has on you. Sometimes when I’m feeling this way I’ll have a glass of wine to calm me down, and mostly to make me sleepy so I can just go to bed and drift out of consciousness for a few hours. Disclaimer alcohol is definitely not the answer, so don’t do that. It’s an easy option but not the most responsible or long term solution. 

Are there enough meds in the world to stop me from going crazy? Could I get hypnotized or something? Does anyone else ever feel like this? Is it just all part of being an adult that sometimes you feel like you’re losing the plot? 

If you ever feel this way or just overwhelmed by your thoughts what’s your best coping mechanism? 

Dating Someone with Anxiety – the other half to ‘The Anxious Blonde’

I’ve been dating “The Anxious Blonde” for just over 10 months now and believe me it’s had its ups and downs as most relationships do. Dating this girl has changed me and how I see people with anxiety and other mental health issues.
First off, before I met this wonderful girl I never took people with anxiety seriously. I thought they were just attention seeking people that had issues with coping with every day problems and situations. I had also never dealt with someone that had anxiety and to be completely honest I tried to steer clear of them because they to me were trouble. 
I like to consider myself a very laid back person, unless I have to talk to random people on the phone (I hate talking on the phone) then I hit the panic button. But I really have a laid back persona, I never make plans until last minute and when things don’t go to plan I just laugh it off and get on with it.
Now, to the bit about dating a girl with anxiety. It’s not easy, but I guess any good girlfriend isn’t easy really haha. But honestly to date someone with anxiety takes some serious patience and I thank my younger siblings for teaching me patience. It takes a fair bit of understanding and a tonne of reassurance. 

Dating a girl with anxiety is like taking a nervous puppy for a walk… sometimes it’s an absolute disaster, and most of the time you both absolutely love it and have a great time. We’ve had more great times than bad, actually it’s rare that we ever have a bad time.

But when she does have anxiety attacks It’s my job to be there for her and to support her through it. The main thing is to reassure her and to make her feel like everything is going to be okay. I remember one night on our Gold Coast holiday (it was dope) we were going to this really cool cocktail bar and just before we left she had a wardrobe malfunction and couldn’t wear the intended outfit for the night. Now to me it was nothing, to her it was the end of the world. All she kept saying was “I’m not dressed pretty enough, people are going to look at me and judge me”. But being the trooper she is, we still went to that cocktail bar. I could tell when we got there that she wasn’t enjoying herself, there were all these people in nice outfits and she felt like she didn’t fit in(I thought she looked stunning, she always does) but she still tried to enjoy it for my sake but she just couldn’t deal with it. So we left and went to some quiet old Irish pub and she was a lot more comfortable there. Now it’s easy as that, yes it sucked leaving those delicious cocktails behind but there is always next time, the fact that she was now enjoying herself made it well worth it. 

Now as her previous blog had a lot to do with me and how she thinks that I’m going to dump her for reasons made up in her head. I realise with her that she is a sensitive person and it’s true if I do give her a different tone of voice she hits the panic button and starts stressing out. The main thing is to be reassuring and to think about how you say things, some slight banter to you may mean something completely different to her so I guess I just try and tread lightly and not hit any triggers haha. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is, dating this girl is definitely a challenge sometimes but it is the most rewarding challenge I’ve ever dealt with. The last 10 months has taught me so much about anxiety and how to deal with people that have it and that it is a real thing. I can’t wait to see what the future holds. 

Over and out

The non anxious boyfriend 

Anxiety & Dating

So anxiety sucks, obviously. But I haven’t really talked about how it effects the people around me, for example my boyfriend. God that boy needs a medal for putting up with me! I mean my family does too but they don’t really have a choice they’re stuck to me like a barnacle. 

Have you seen that meme? The ‘are you dating me cause you like me or as a friend?’ That’s me in a nutshell. Everything is amazing, and then I might notice a small twitch in my boyfriend’s mouth which will send my mind off in a whirl ‘was that a frown? I think it was, well if he’s frowning he’s unhappy. He must want to dump me, oh God I’m going to die alone’ and so on and so forth. It sounds absolutely mental right? Yep it is and I’ll be the first to admit it. I used to hear friends talk about the same thing before I was partnered up and I would think dead set get a grip how stupid, why don’t they worry about something worthwhile like dying? And here I am, spoke too soon! 

Most men don’t stay with women they’re not interested in, and logically I know mine wouldn’t, but there’s just something in my brain that can detect the slightest change of tone in his voice and imagine it’s all about to be over red rover. Ironically though, the thing that would be likely to end a perfectly normal functioning relationship would be the annoyance of your significant other constantly questioning if you still love them! 

Unfortunately for me (and my boyfriend) anxiety doesn’t entertain logic, but I have heard many people say ‘if she isn’t crazy she doesn’t love you.’

My 5 favourite Apps for coping with Mental Health

How often throughout the day are you giving your thumbs a work out on your phone? I personally spend countless hours on Facebook, watching Snapchat stories, scrolling through Instagram and googling random shit. Spending excess time on our phones is usually perceived as a negative activity, and yes comparing my life to insta famous girls with perfect bodies who never seem to work a day in their life is pretty depressing at times but there are actually some pretty amazing apps out there! 

Below I’ve composed a list in no particular order of my favourite apps for when I need to switch off (so to speak) and check in with my mental health. If you have any apps that you swear by for coping with anxiety or any other mental illness, comment down below and leave a suggestion!

1. What’s Up? 

This app uses CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy for those of you who have never seen a psych before) and ACT (acceptance commitment therapy) methods to help you cope with Anxiety, Depression, Anger, Stress and other issues. It comes with a positive and negative thought tracker, tools to put your problems in perspective and games to distract you from the heat of the moment when panic strikes. It also has forums, inspirational quotes and coping mechanisms for negative thoughts. 

The great thing about What’s Up? is that you can use it just about anywhere, it’s free and allows you to basically have a pocket sized shrink on hand at all times!

2. Smiling Mind 

If you haven’t yet heard of smiling mind allow me to introduce you to this modern meditation app. This little app has been developed by psychologists and educators to help bring balance to people’s lives. 

The program is designed to assist people dealing with the pressure, stress and challenges of daily life. I tend to use this app just before bed, the meditation consists of  short little sessions of around 4 minutes and ranging up to extended meditation sessions of 30 minutes. 

3. Ballz 

More of a game than a mental health app but this bad boy is the king of distraction for me! Basically you shoot the ball to destroy the coloured tiles so they don’t reach the bottom of the screen. Maybe I’m not explaining it very well but seriously, this app is amazing for distraction. I play this during my breaks at work, on the bus, laying in bed when I should be sleeping. I find myself so distracted by shooting those pesky tiles that I couldn’t possibly be worried about dying! 

4. Stop, Breathe & Think

Stop, Breathe & Think is an award winning meditation and mindfulness app that helps you find peace and relaxation anywhere. Find a quiet space and for just a few minutes allow this app to help you develop skills to learn to relax. 

5. 7 Minute Workout 

It wouldn’t be right to not add an app that focuses on physical health, because let’s me honest when you feel good physically you feel good mentally. Also available on Apple Watch, Seven is an app that provides you with mini 7 minute (who’d have guessed that?) work outs. 

I use this app first thing in the morning, it’s perfect for people who don’t have a whole lot of time before work to hit the gym but still want to fit in a quick active session to start the day! 

So there you have it, my favourite apps for when I need to take a few minutes out of my day to calm down and take a break from the world. Try out at least one of these apps and see it if has a positive effect on you too! 


Every so often my anxiety chills out. Wild right? I can be riddled with thoughts of impending doom and then a few days later wake up and think ‘hey I haven’t worried myself sick for at least a week.’ I have no reasoning for it, maybe my meds are doing me a favour or it’s that spring is here and how can anyone not be feeling the positive vibes while the flowers are starting to blossom and the weather is warming up? Maybe it’s that instead of thinking I’m about to kick the bucket the thought that beach season is on the way and maybe I shouldn’t have spent all winter bingeing on KFC is too distracting to fit anything else in my mind! 

But seriously, it’s amazing hence no blogging in a while. Of course I’ve still been stressing about a few things – climate change is my latest fear – but the thing about my anxiety is I’m very safety in numbers based. Climate change is something that’s going to effect everyone so I think oh well we’re all in this together but getting scratched by a squirrel on vacation in New York and ending up with rabies is something that would leave me on my death bed alone (that’s a story for another time.)

When I’m not busy with my anxiety like as of late it leaves me to ponder the more important things in life. Like 5 year plans and consolidating my superannuation. I wonder if this is what it’s like to be normal? Do other people just cruise around focusing on reaching their goals because they don’t have to spend 80% of their waking hours inserting their symptoms into webmd? 

So what about goals hey? Has anyone noticed that successful people always either A. Thank God or B. Bang on about the power of positive thinking and putting your dreams out into the universe. I haven’t read The Secret, but I get the gist of it; power of positive thinking and letting the universe know what you want and eventually it will happen. Obviously there has to be some sort of work involved, I mean I want a Mercedes G-Class but I don’t think the universe is going to just drop it off on my door step after a few weeks of wishing and being really good. So how does it work? Maybe if I actually read The Secret I’d know but I was too lazy. I picture myself with a sports illustrated model type of body every night before bed but so far the universe hasn’t done that for me (revert back to my previous statement about the winter long KFC binge.) 

How does one person even stick to one set of goals? My mind changes every week. Sometimes I’d like to be filthy rich on a yacht draped in designer wear, other days I’d consider ‘rich’ as having a cute little country cottage and running my own little corner cafe. And then you have to find someone with similar goals to spend your life with, or compromise somewhat. I think it’s so easy for people to think that it’s soo much effort or financially risky to chase their dreams. Heck I have so many ideas that I would love to follow through with and become and entrepreneur, but those negative thoughts hold me back. I’m definitely a dreamer and I saw a quote by the late Hugh Hefner that read ‘Life is too short to be living someone else’s dream’ that really struck a chord with me. It made me want to quit my job on the spot and stop working for the man. Of course a few extra years working for a big corporation saving some cash is probably a better idea than quitting right now and ending up living on the streets haha! 

So that’s it, I’m giving myself 3 years to have saved some cash behind me and change my life for the better. Quit my job working for the man and do something that truly makes me happy. That’s pretty drastic I’ll admit but I’m an extremist, I’m not the type of person to have my wings clipped working for a large corporation that calls the shots on my life. But you don’t need to quit your job to be happy, little things like planning biannual over seas vacations, volunteering at an animal shelter if that’s what you want or even getting that irresponsible dream car that your wife is going to try to make you return. This life isn’t a practice run and we should all give ourselves the opportunity to live our best life. What steps are you going to take to ensure you live your best life and chase your dreams?