Now I’m not depressed in any way, in fact I love life so much that I never want to die, ever – hence the anxiety. There’s a thousand things I want to do, places I want to see and millions of dogs throughout the world that I feel compelled to save so I don’t want to go anytime soon!
However, the thing that does get me down is work. Most people hate their jobs right? Or do they? I was raised that you get a job and then you keep it and then that’s it. Not that I wasn’t taught to chase my dreams but they definitely weren’t the number one priority; stability and practicality were.
The solution for being unhappy in your job is easy right? Quit and get a new one that makes you happy, sounds easier said then done.
Now I’m not going to sit here and say what I do, nor what company I work for – I’d be out of a job by tomorrow! But I definitely work for the man and I hate it! I’m a dreamer, I have so many ideas for my own businesses and hate the idea of working in a job as a robot doing mind numbing work that is only making someone else A LOT of money. Why can’t that be me? Like I said I’ve got some great ideas, I’m a dreamer, I’m definitely not the kind of person who’s cut out to work 9-5 in an office. So is it my upbringing that tells me to stay in my sensible and secure job where I may in a few years get a promotion and afford to live comfortably until retirement or is it anxiety?
Is it just human nature when it comes to these things to listen to the ‘what if’ inside our heads and drag ourselves to the Monday – Friday grind or am I just using my anxiety as the perfect excuse to stay safe? I do it in other aspects of my life, food that’s hit the ground, water sports and rollercoasters are examples where I use my mental health to avoid those situations. But is it really my anxiety or am I just being a wuss?
For example a few years ago it was my hearts desire to be a jilaroo. Ridiculous right? For someone as materialistic as I am moving to the middle of no where for a very poorly paid job seems mad but it was what I was convinced was my calling. I’d search for jobs online but never apply. Eventually I told myself to ‘be realistic’ and ended my searched for farm hand jobs for good. After a 5 year stint at a very secure job was coming to an end I started to consider backpacking or even Au Pair work overseas. People leave their jobs and do that every day so why couldn’t I? Nope, I convinced myself that I was getting older and I should really get a plan up and running for my future.
Spoiler alert, I still don’t have a plan. I may as well have done my gap year and mustered a few cattle to get it out of my system because 5 years later here I am morbidly unsatisfied with my current job and nothing to show for it. I live paycheck to paycheck because I convince myself that as a result of working in a job that makes me miserable I deserve to ‘treat myself.’ Turns out it’s not a treat if you do it every day. It’s actually called spending beyond your means.
So what’s the deal? If what going off my collegues comments at work seem to be the norm then no one really loves their job – well apart from those handfull of social medial stars who seem to get paid for just being attractive. Do you suck it up and spend as much of your spare time on hobbies, travel and surrounding yourself with those you’re close to? Or do you take a gamble, risk your savings (or lack thereof) and secure job you have already in the hopes of becoming a successful entrepreneur and making it on your own without contributing to any evil corporations on the way?